Suzi Ruffell’s Trailblazing Memoir on Anxiety Announced for 2025 Release

Preorder here now!

Jodie Lancet-Grant, Associate Publisher at Bluebird, has acquired world rights for Am I Having Fun Now: Anxiety, Applause and Life’s Big Questions, Answered by Suzi Ruffell, from Flo Howard at Off The Kerb, to publish in hardback on 5th June 2025. In this brutally honest, moving, and of course, very funny memoir, award-winning comedian, podcaster and writer Suzi Ruffell will tell the story of a life afflicted by anxiety, and ask a host of experts to answer some big questions along the way.

From masking anxiety with musical theatre, developing an obsession with the movie Titanic and struggling to find her groove at school, onstage and in her love life, to (eventually) coming out, falling in love and becoming a parent, Suzi lays her life bare with trademark wit, verve and style. Anxiety – about death, popularity, love, her sexuality and success – is a thread that runs through every chapter, and it’s a subject Suzi explores with sensitivity, detail and unflinching honesty.

Each chapter is headed with a question about life; helpfully answered by some of the UK’s most qualified experts and bestselling writers. Suzi asks Dolly Alderton how to mend a broken heart, relationships guru Charlene Douglas what happens to our bodies and brains when we fall in love, Elizabeth Day about the price of overnight success, Dr. Martha Deiros Collado how to avoid messing up your kids, and Laura Bates whether getting married is inherently anti-feminist (even if it is to another woman.) Perhaps the most important question is put to Ten Times Calmer author, Dr. Kirren Shnack: How do you know when you’re worrying too much (and what can you do about it?).

Riveting, revealing and studded with brilliant, cutting observations on feminism, being working class in the world of arts and comedy, LGBTQ+ equality and the up and down-sides of ambition, Am I Having Fun Now will be perfect reading for fans of Fern Brady’s Strong Female Character, Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail and Tom Allen’s No Shame.

Suzi said: ‘I wanted to read a funny and hopeful book about anxiety, my constant companion since childhood. I searched for a book that would make me laugh, engage me and give me useful tips on the big questions and worries that constantly weigh down on my brain, but I couldn’t find it. So I decided to write it. I am excited (and of course, quite anxious) about its release, I hope people connect with it, feel seen and that it leaves them feeling a bit more optimistic about the challenges many of us face.’

Jodie Lancet-Grant said: ‘I have long been a fan of Suzi’s comedy, and the way her hilarious material is often beautifully undercut with thought-provoking, serious elements. She occupies a unique space in British culture, and I’m thrilled to be publishing her story in Am I Having Fun Now. I’ve been so impressed by the way she talks about her anxiety, and have no doubt that, as well as entertain, this book is going to help a huge number of people.’